The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that emphasizes members of a couple being considerate and supportive of one another. The goals of counseling using the Gottman Method include feeling an increased sense of closeness and friendship with your partner, being able to address conflict productively, and being able to build a life of shared meaning together.

Some Key Ideas in the Gottman Method

Friendship Matters – Being in love feels wonderful, but friendship is what gets us through life’s tough times. Counseling with the Gottman Method begins with an in-depth assessment of your relationship as a couple: how well you know your partner and how well you feel known in return, the quality of your friendship, agreement (or not) on major issues like children, spirituality, and just having fun together. The result of the assessment is a summary of your strengths and challenge areas as a couple, which become the focus of the counseling process moving forward.

Conflict is human – We all come to our relationships with unique likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, and personal histories. With all of that, conflict is bound to take place, and that’s okay, conflict is an inherent part of relationships. The approach to conflict in the Gottman Method isn’t to try to make it go away, but to make it respectful and productive.